Balancing Safety and Emotions: Challenges Faced in the Care of Aging Family Members

I’ve got some good news and some not so good news. First the good news: American men and women are both living longer in the 21st century…that will put a smile on most of our faces. Now the not so good news: Many of those additional years are spent with the same significant health challenges that people died (earlier) of in previous generations. In the year 2000 the average life expectancy for men was about 71 years compared to 76 years in 2023. For women it was 80 in 2000 vs 82 in 2023.

Innovations in health care, medicines, nutritional improvements, and better caregiving availability have enabled us to have our loved ones in our lives longer than ever before.

Now the not so good news: Families are tasked with caring for spouses, parents, relatives and sometimes even close friends for longer than ever before. Fact: in 2020 (4 years ago) 41.8 million Americans provided unpaid care to an adult over the age of 50. As of June 2023 89% of caregivers provide care for a relative or loved one, such as a spouse. As of 2022 nearly 58 million adults age 65 and older live in the United States. Houston, we have a potential problem!

Most families strongly desire to enable their health-challenged loved ones to stay in their own homes for as long as possible, which is understandable. However, it can sometimes prove overwhelming, leading to considerations of alternatives such as Assisted Living or smaller retirement homes if funds permit.
 
Drawing from my extensive professional experience working with patients and families in healthcare for multiple decades, as well as serving as a caregiver myself, I aim to offer insights to family members stepping into the role of caregivers or care managers.
 
The first and foremost component of being a caregiver to a loved one is empathy. The golden rule of empathetic care is to refrain from judging the person you are caring for by looking at him/her in the situation they are in, not the overt words, behavior, or needs they express. The need for developing or increasing patience is paramount.
 
Right up there with empathy is organization and advance planning. You will benefit greatly by developing a team of trusted people who can each take on one or two of the myriad tasks required to keep your loved one comfortable throughout the tenure of their years and/or months. If the challenges are significant as they often prove to be, think about a go-to professional such as a Geriatric Care Manager to take on many of the tasks required for excellent care. Care Managers are usually, but not always, Social Workers, Gerontologists, nurses, or long-term healthcare professionals in the community.
 
Another essential component of providing caregiving for your loved one is to set boundaries as to how much risk you can live with in terms of making their own decisions regarding driving, decision-making on financial and daily living decisions. Understand that safety is the number one priority and is closely followed by dignity and autonomy to the extent that safety is not compromised. Much of these decisions are addressed in healthcare and financial Advanced Directives which should be completed while your loved one has cognitive capacity.
 
While we live in an era of medical and nutritional advancements resulting in longer lives, many diseases remain uncured, leading to increased caregiving responsibilities. However, help is available for those who seek it. Researching available resources and support can make a significant positive difference in the caregiving journey.
 
In addition to the challenges faced by families in caring for their aging loved ones, many find relief and support through the services of a Geriatric Care Manager. These professionals offer specialized expertise and guidance to navigate the complexities of aging and caregiving, providing invaluable assistance to both the aging individual and their family members.
 
Geriatric Care Managers play a crucial role in ensuring the well-being and quality of life of aging individuals. They conduct comprehensive assessments to identify the unique needs and preferences of each client, develop personalized care plans, and coordinate a wide range of services to meet those needs effectively.
 
One of the primary ways in which Geriatric Care Managers support families is by providing expert guidance and advocacy. They serve as a trusted resource, offering information, support, and reassurance to help families make informed decisions about the care of their loved ones. Whether it’s navigating healthcare systems, accessing community resources, or addressing legal and financial matters, Geriatric Care Managers provide invaluable assistance every step of the way.
 
Furthermore, Geriatric Care Managers help create a sense of balance and stability in the caregiving journey. They offer emotional support and practical assistance, helping families cope with the challenges and uncertainties of caring for an aging loved one. By providing guidance on setting boundaries, managing expectations, and promoting self-care, Geriatric Care Managers help caregivers maintain their own well-being while caring for others.
 
In times of crisis or transition, Geriatric Care Managers are invaluable allies, providing support, guidance, and advocacy to ensure that the needs of the aging individual are met with compassion and dignity. Whether it’s navigating a health crisis, transitioning to a higher level of care, or addressing end-of-life decisions, Geriatric Care Managers offer expert guidance and support to help families navigate these challenging times with confidence and clarity.
 

Overall, Care Managers play a vital role in supporting families in the care of their aging loved ones. With their specialized expertise, compassionate approach, and dedication to promoting well-being, they help families navigate the complexities of aging and caregiving with confidence and peace of mind.

If you find it difficult to come to a consensus, or you need help in exploring living and care options, contact us at 866-952-2734 or [email protected].

Contributing Writer

Dale Shagrin, Social Worker, GCM